We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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