So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
