with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were trust falling into bushes
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
