you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
