He is an equal opportunity slut.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
