could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
