The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
