I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just found puke in my bra..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
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