He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
