so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
