I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
