I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Drunk is a universal language darling
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
