Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize