Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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