Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
