Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
