Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
