Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
