last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He better not be in your backpack
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
