I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
