i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
