Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I believe in your delicious
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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