you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
