I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
