so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize