8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
