I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
