I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Welp...herpes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
