Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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