did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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