Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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