Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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