We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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