He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
