so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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