What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
