what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
