She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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