i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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