the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
