I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
this beer tastes like vomit already
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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