If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
either way he was missing a nipple.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
