Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Im part way to drunk.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
