wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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