This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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