i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
