What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
