It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
