I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
