Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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