Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
