Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
His hands were made for my vagina.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
