This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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