It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize