What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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