Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
