i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
