I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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