Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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