The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
