I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize