The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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