turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
