I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize