Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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